R U OK?

TW: Mention of mental health, suicide

Hey fielders! It's been a while! Don't worry, I'm back with a new article for you, pretty relevant to the coming days! Let's really make an effort this suicide prevention month!

A question we all have needed to hear at some point. How many days have you endured where all you've needed is a hug, or someone to ask you, "are you okay?" I know the feeling, of tears welling in your eyes, of the choking labour of breathing, and nobody noticing or going out of their way to make sure you're okay. Everyones life is precious, and it's time we started treating each-other with the same level of compassion we would our family or best friends. We need to start being everyones friend.

Now, what actually is R U OK day? R U OK? contributes to suicide prevention efforts by encouraging people to invest more time in their personal relationships and building the capacity of informal support networks – friends, family and colleagues - to be alert to those around them, have a conversation if they identify signs of distress or difficulty and connect someone to appropriate support, long before they're in crisis. This simple question could and has saved thousands of lives. It's as simple as that.

For someone who has struggled with mental health for the last 6-7 years, the times I was at rock bottom, all it took to bring me at least a little back to life was somebody to talk to. It felt as though a problem shared was a problem halved. And this is backed by science; people who have stronger support networks are more likely to feel a higher level of emotional and mental wellbeing.

By now you might be thinking, okay so how do I "magically" know if someone ISN'T okay? Well, while each individuals situation is different, there is a few key tell tale signs to look for.

Although our lives are all busy, it's important we take a short moment of every day to be aware and considerate of others around us. If someone is showing one or multiple of these symptoms, it can be helpful to politely ask if they are okay. Now this doesn't have to be "awkward" or "weird" it doesn't have to be "lame" it's just as simple as: "Hey [said name,] are you doing okay today?"

Before you plan on asking this question, it's also important you adapt to whichever situation you might be walking into. Make sure you are prepared with something to say if the person answers "No, not really." After asking, there are a few things you should do with the person:

-Listen with an open mind: Take what they say seriously and don't interrupt or rush the conversation. Don’t judge their experiences or reactions but acknowledge that things seem tough for them. If they need time to think, sit patiently with the silence. Encourage them to explain: "How are you feeling about that?" or "How long have you felt that way?" Show that you've listened by repeating back what you’ve heard (in your own words) and ask if you have understood them properly.

-Encourage them to take action: “What have you done in the past to manage similar situations?” “How would you like me to support you?" “What’s something you can do for yourself right now? Something that’s enjoyable or relaxing?” You could say: "When I was going through a difficult time, I tried this... You might find it useful too." If they've been feeling really down for more than 2 weeks, encourage them to see a health professional. You could say, "It might be useful to link in with someone who can support you. I'm happy to assist you to find the right person to talk to.” Be positive about the role of professionals in getting through tough times.

-Check in with them: Pop a reminder in your diary to call them in a couple of weeks. If they're really struggling, follow up with them sooner. You could say: "I've been thinking of you and wanted to know how you've been going since we last chatted." Ask if they've found a better way to manage the situation. If they haven't done anything, don't judge them. They might just need someone to listen to them for the moment. Stay in touch and be there for them. Genuine care and concern can make a real difference.

So it's as easy as that. Life does sometimes weigh up on us, and it's important we try our best to surround ourselves with resources to help pull us out of the slump. Next time you're at work, school, with friends, or even just out in public, just be subtly aware of the people around you, and remember to look out for the signs. You never know just how much a person might need to hear it.

Let's get those suicide numbers down to 0. Because life is worth living. My inbox is always open!

If you or someone you know needs help, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or on their website at https://www.lifeline.org.au/

Stay safe and happy fielders!

-Poppy