When life gives you lemons or whatever they say

Hiya everyone [yes, I am now corrupted into starting basically every sentence with "hiya" now that I am living and working in the UK] I am bloody back from my 5 month drought and have been sparked with some hunger for a juicy writing sesh. What an absolute ride the last 5 months have been jeeeezzzz! Lot to speak about but not even sure where to begin to be honest so here goes. Read on if you dare....

Where on earth have I been? Bloody hell better question is where HAVENT I been at this point. So my MIA was due to my 3 month travels around Europe and my pure exhaustion after the trip that hasn't really gone away yet... hostelling is honestly not for the weak hearted for REAL. No but seriously, what an absolute dream that trip was. I seriously feel like I was reborn into a new version of myself, sooo much shit went down that was both soul shattering and character developing at the same time! Living for the chaos though. I started in wee old Bath [UK] and finished in the UNREAL Amalfi coast. Who the hell was gonna tell me it was THAT pretty for reallll. No but seriously the final tally was 14 countries and like 22 cities or something in the end which is absolutely nuts. My favourite country obviously remains Italy, just love everything about the city and feel like more people should copy the italian way of life; like why stress when you can have gelato for all 3 meals, espresso and cigarettes for dessert, and a good old laugh with the people you met down at the grocery market while deciding which "fresh authentic" pasta you would buy for dinner that night. God the italians are quite possibly the nicest people I've ever met. Shoutout to my boys Ale, Edo and Ivan, you guys seriously are the best. Just no boundaries in the best way, like they don't care if you look slightly odd, or speak funny, or have weird habits, as long as you can eat the 1kg of pasta they're serving for dinner you get their seal of approval. [and yes, I luckily passed] Nah now I'm craving some of Edo's delicious pasta we had in Berlin. Oh yeah so favourite place overall was probably Berlin, just soooo history dense and absolutely MENTAL in the creative and culture scene its full of a mix of everyone. Landscape wise, Napoli and Amalfi Coast were by far the most impressive. Doesn't get much prettier than the south coast of Italy. Any-way, I returned back to UK with a suitcase 10kg heavier and a mindset completely changed!!! Shoutout to that WizzAir worker who let me get away with the extra kg because I was nice to you xx

{Here's some ACTUAL Poppies, I got to see with my own eyes in the Pompeii Ruins!}

I am genuinely so exhausted, just purely because travelling takes so much physical and emotional strength, to be sharing your space with people 24/7 is a real challenge at times. Do invest in some extremely good noise cancelling headphones because they will be a life saver. But god am I exhausted with a full heart. I can't believe how brave I was, like it's almost made me feel unrecognisable. Talking to so many strangers, not being afraid of feeling out of my comfort zone, being more tolerating of others, and just overall a kinder human being. I sustain my previous statements that Travel really is the best teacher of all. I waited through 13 years of high school with very minimal character development, yet turned into the version of myself I can actually... be proud of; in 3 months? Honestly, I wish things were free in life and I could let everyone experience what I experienced because it truly is life changing.

Okay enough ranting about how life altering travelling was.. time for the present day update YAY. It's not nearly as exciting, soz to dissapoint. Anyway, so when I got back to London, got the train home [12 quid later] and headed back to me Nans place. Honestly after travelling you do really feel the post holiday blues, for a long time to be honest, but I knew I needed to stop, my body was so physically exhausted and my brain just completely fried. So I rotted in bed for a few days [deserved, in my opinion] before deciding to get my life in order. I applied for a job I had commented on months prior that "I'd love to work here, what an amazing place" As it is quite literally on a pier. In the ocean. So apply I did and the universe blessed me with a full time contract!!! EEK. But new confident me wasn't so scared about it, not like I would've been before. And boy was I right, everyone at work is so incredibly lovely and good quality, but also the job itself is great. It's been so funny asking people for service/tips, and every 3rd customer asking me where my accents from. Very unfamiliar territory for me but it's great nonetheless.

I'm just feeling overall more... whole. I don't know how to describe the feeling that you actually feel like you belong somewhere. Even though it's cold as shit most of the time and rains more than it shines, I like this silly little beach-bartender lifestyle. It's filling my heart with so much hope and positivity for the future ahead. I don't know where I'll go, or what I'll do tomorrow, I just trust in the world to work it out for me. And although at times I do feel lost or falling behind I remind myself of how far IVE come, in my own self development and life, and that is something I am so proud of. Who would of thought, 6 months ago I could barely go to my local shopping centre without feeling anxious of having to speak to people I knew, yet now I'll talk to random people in Tesco's because they like my bag!

Anyway, today was a good day, tomorrow may not be, but that's ok because we got chai at work and I will be drinking multiple chais a day for the foreseeable future. Nah joking, but seriously, if you're feeling fucking scared of what's to come or have something you want to do but are afraid to do it, just send it; what have you got to lose? And trust your own capability, you never know how far you can push yourself until you try. I will travel again soon, but for now, I rest.. finally!

I have a few things I'm manifesting to happen soon so if you're reading this, manifest for me. Future me you'll know what I mean when I'm writing this heheheh. One of which is getting a tat I've been wanting for ages [sorry mum if you're reading] Feeling something good is around the corner. Finally, it's about bloody time.

{Also did a random AI photo feature that they've added to my site and typed in "My Future" this is what it spawned... not sure what it means but love it I guess}

Any-way thought I'd give you a nice little recap on the current state of my life without getting too deep into the nitty grittys, hope you enjoyed your read and if not well soz you still read this far x

I'll write again when I come up with something I feel the dire need to document or just comment on. Until then, keep smiling and trying; Love ya!

[P.S Just for future pop culture references I am absolutely LIVING for billies new song "LUNCH" she really knew her target audience with that one also instagram reels are so unhinged at the moment I love the lore x ALSO obsessed with Still Woozy and Hozier at the mo. They keep playing hoziers songs at work and I'm eating it UP. K, thats all.]

-Poppy